One year
by evaernst
Summary: One year. One year since the quest to find the author and make him write her a happy ending failed. One year since the heroes had forced her to leave Storybrook. One year since Ursula left. One year of pain, sorrow and misery. One year of loneliness. One year of unreturned love and friendship. One lost year. Her last year, she decided. Sea Devil. Warning: M for suicide attempt.


One year. One year since the quest to find the author and make him write her a happy ending failed. One year since the heroes had forced her to leave Storybrook. One year since Maleficent and Rumpel turned their back on her and abandoned. One year since Ursula left. One year of pain, sorrow and misery. One year of loneliness. One year of unreturned love and friendship. One lost year. Her last year, she decided.

Slowly Cruella walked along the beach. The cold wind made her shiver maybe she should have taken her fur coat with her when she had left her car half an hour ago. Cruella was happy that no one was watching her. At least in her last minutes she didn't want to feel ashamed at how slumped her shoulder were and how her head was bent. She had lost all the grace she had possessed a year ago, all her pride and self-confidence too. It had of course not been the first time she had lost everything but apparently this time had been the last straw that broke the camel's back. She had lost all hope to get her happy ending. The only person she had ever truly wanted to be with was gone. She had gotten her own happy ending even without the help of the author and apparently having her voice and her father back was enough for Ursula. She didn't need Cruella. She didn't even say goodbye. She just left.

'Like they all do' Cruella thought to herself and couldn't stop a single tear to run down her cheek. She didn't even bother to brush it away. It was no one there to see it anyway. For the first time since she had come to the beach today she lifted her head and let her gaze wander over the sea, watched the waves crash, listened to the sea gulls' cries, enjoyed how her feet felt against the wet sand. Tiny droplets fell from the sky mixing with her tears on her face. Quickly Cruella looked down again. It was time.

Finally she reached a beautiful rock formation and with surprisingly skilled movements the climbed to the top of the biggest rock and sat down. The wind now blew even stronger directly into her face. Once again she inspected the ocean closely. To every other person it would look harsh and uncomfortable but to Cruella it was just untamed and free. And the home of her dearest friend and the person she loved so deeply. It was beautiful.

Cruella slowly reached into her pocket and pulled out a box of sleeping pills and turned it in her hands. This was not how she had ever wanted to die. She had never entertained the idea of ending her life on her own accord but a lot had changed in the last year and she would not suffer through another long year that much was sure.

With shaking hands she opened the small bottle and emptied it into her hand.

'So many' Cruella wondered and before she knew what she was doing she threw half the pills down into the sand. Then she slowly swallowed one after the other gulping them down with gin. Then she closed her eyes and enjoyed the wind blowing in her face and the smell of the sea and the tiny drops of water to splash into her face. Slowly Cruella lay down on the rock. She didn't care that it was less than comfortable and that the sharp rocks threatened to break through her skin and that her bony limps felt cold against the wet surface of the rock.

It is said that when you die you relive your whole life one last time but Cruella only saw the face of a certain sea witch behind her closed eyes. A smile played around her lips as her mind became foggy and suddenly everything went dark.

Light. Too much light. Cruella blinked tiredly slowly stretching her heavy limbs and groaned at the heavy pounding in her head. Where was she? How did she get here?

Then the memories of her last minutes at the beach came back rushing in and panic was rising inside of her. Where was she? Was that sand she was lying on? Was that the faint smell and the melodic noise of the sea? Was that an angel singing next to her? She had never believed in a god. What kind of god would allow a little girl to be corrupted and become a villain that everybody loathed? She had believed that when she died everything would be just over but apparently-

"Oh good you are up." Someone said close to her. Cruella winced at the sudden noise. She forced her eyes open and groaned. She turned her head and looked at the person sitting next to her. This was the proof, she was dead.

"Ursula?" Cruella asked with a raspy voice.

"Oh good you recognize me! I was worried you finally managed to kill your last brain cells with the amount of medication and gin you swallowed." Ursula said drily but her eyes betrayed her calm appearance. She was worried about her.

"Am I dead?" Cruella asked confused. She turned her head to look at the sky. Dark clouds hid the sun and still tiny drops rained down on them.

"Thank god, no." Ursula said actually sounding relieved. "Why did you do it?"

Although Cruella knew exactly what Ursula was referring to she asked: "What do you mean?"

"Why did you try to kill yourself!? If I had come an hour later you would be dead now!" Ursula suddenly cried out and jumped to her feet. "Look at me!"

Cruella turned her head again and looked Ursula deeply into the eyes. Tears ran down her beautiful face and she was hardly able to contain her sobs.

"Why not?" Cruella said. Ursula sank down on her knees and ran hand through Cruella's damp hair.

"I was never far away, you know. I watched you every day walking down the beach. I couldn't let you die." Ursula said and placed a kiss on Cruella's forehead.

"Why didn't you reveal yourself to me? Every day I was hoping for a sign that I wasn't alone but there was nothing. Never." Cruella whispered. "I could not stand it anymore."

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you. I was worried you'd hate me but I wish I had been braver. I wish I had made the right choices. I wish I hadn't left in the first place. I wish I had told you sooner." Ursula whimpered quietly and lay down next to Cruella pressing herself against the other woman.

"Tell me what?" Cruella asked not even trying to hide her desperation placing her head on Ursula's shoulder.

For a moment Ursula didn't say anything then she carefully cupped Cruella's cheek and turned her head. They were so close that their noses brushed against each other. Cruella smiled one of her rare smiles. Smiling felt completely strange to her.

Cruella was suddenly lost in dark thoughts and she didn't realize how Ursula placed her lips on hers without applying any pressure. Immediately Cruella snapped out of her dark thoughts and smiled against the other woman's lips. Immediately smiling felt slightly less strange to her.

Cruella then took the initiative and kissed Ursula back more forcefully. She placed her hand on the back of the sea witch's head and both of them reveled in the feeling of being close to the other.

There were still a lot of things they had to talk about. There were still a lot of things to apologize for. But for the first time for one year there was hope. Cruella knew that she would never be alone again.

This thought made her smile. Now smiling felt not at all strange to her anymore. The next year was going to be a good one.


End file.
